Ten steps to make divorce easier on children

28th June 2017

By Antony Ball, head of hlw Keeble Hawson's family team in Doncaster In our extensive experience no divorce is easy emotionally, financially or legally and nobody enters into the process because they think it is.

Even amicable separations are hard on children - but if both parents work to safeguard them, there is no reason why they should not grow up to achieve fulfilled lives. Below are some tips on how estranged couples can make their split easier on their children: If possible, sit down together to tell your children about a separation or divorce. Keep explanations simple and don't blame each other. Always put your children's welfare, not your own, first and avoid unnecessary squabbles. Strive to remain cordial despite feelings of hurt with your ex. Try to reach a quick and easy financial outcome it is better to collaborate and to compromise than fight over minor issues. Strive to be fair and flexible with each other about children issues avoiding disruption with last minute changes of plan. Routine is always helpful for children but it doesn't have to be a straitjacket. Explain in simple terms how their lives will change, particularly major decisions such as where they will live and how often they will see each parent. Both parents are urged to be flexible over planned routines if children, particularly teenagers, want to alter them. Agree some parenting ground rules with your ex and have monthly coffee meetings to discuss how things are going with the children. Avoid getting into a blaming situation with your ex a spirit of cooperation will go a long way. Regularly reassure your offspring that you love them they, in turn, are entitled to continue to love both parents. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and give them time to get used to the new situation. Don't rush them into meeting any new partner. Consider family therapy as an option it works well in many cases. We strongly urge all separating couples to do everything they can to ensure their split is as non-confrontational as possible. They can work with professional advisers to resolve family disputes constructively and invest in one of the collaborative routes to divorce. Antony Ball can be contacted on 01302 380225 or antonyball@hlwkeeblehawson.co.uk